The FDA recently put out a damning condemnation of raw pet food, warning consumers it could be “dangerous” to your pet. What I found so infuriating about the notice was, not that it may be true, but that they have never issued a similar warning of the danger of toxic treats from China. So with that, I turned their raw pet food fact sheet (see below) and turned it on it’s head — and made it the way I wished it read:

Get the Facts! Jerky Treats from China can be Dangerous to Your Pet (SPOOF)

In a recent report, we updated consumers on the jerky treat from China mystery; For seven agonizingly long years, we have tested thousands of samples for every possible contaminate we could think of, including some we never imagined would be in food (but, hey, you know China), only to come up without an explanation.

We have a coupla theories we’re looking into, but meanwhile more dogs will probably have to die until we spend more time (hopefully not years) studying this confounded mystery.

Frankly, we are scratching our head over this one. So, that is the reason for our latest cry for help from the veterinary community. We admit it, we’re stumped. Until we figure out what is going on, the best we can do is tell you where and how to report a dead dog to us.

Oh! And be sure and save his corpse, because we really need those for further study. We could also use tissue, blood, and urine samples, if you have them. If not, that’s OK. And don’t forget, we need to test your treats (for whatever that’s worth).

So, until the day comes when we finally discover the reason for the illness in pets associated with the jerky treats from China, the best we can do is warn consumers about the danger (such we just did recently about feeding raw food to pets), and give you this message loud and clear:

WARNING! Feeding Your Dog a Treat from CHINA Could Kill Him! Got it? Good.

BTW, that raw pet food warning we put out — it was all screwed up. We fell asleep at the wheel — hell, we don’t know what happened — maybe somebody in the office pressed publish before we OK’d it — annnyway…We got our facts kinda messed up. Sorry ’bout that! Meanwhile, read this important fact sheet, warning you about the danger of treats from CHINA (which we are requiring retailers and veterinarians to post in prominent locations):

Avoid the Dangers of Treats from CHINA 

• Compared to other types of pet food, raw pet food pet treats, treats imported from CHINA  are more likely to be contaminated with disease-causing bacteria God knows what, such as Salmonella and Listeria monocytogenes  — Oh screw it, you know CHINA — it could be anything.
• Salmonella bacteria cause the disease salmonellosis, and L. monocytogenes bacteria cause the disease listeriosis. People and Pets can get both die by eating food contaminated with the harmful bacteria. treats from CHINA.
• Food products made from animals, in CHINA, such as raw meat and poultry, such as jerky treats, yams, sweet potatoes, duck, chicken, chews, bites, tenders, you-name-it can be sources of can be sources of Salmonella and L. monocytogenes infection God only knows, so avoid them like the plague.
• Symptoms of salmonellosis acquired Fanconi syndrome in pets (usually dogs) can include fever, diarrhea (which may be bloody), nausea, vomiting, and stomach pain, renal failure, take your pick, all sorts of awful stuff and of course DEATH. Symptoms could start 12 hours to three days after a pet ingests the bacteria crap from CHINA.
• Most people pets will have some level of irreversible organ damage from salmonellosis in four to seven days without treatment, but some groups and it is important to know that all pets are at a risk of developing more severe symptoms becoming severely ill from eating the treats from CHINA which may also result in DEATH. These high-risk groups pets are:
  • Children under 5
  • The elderly
  • Pregnant women
  • People with weakened immune systems
  • ALL pets
• Compared to salmonellosis and other foodborne illnesses other treats, listeriosis is rare but treats from China may kill your pet very serious with a high mortality rate of 20 to 30 percent
• To prevent infection with Salmonella and L. monocytogenes your pet from being poisoned by a treat from CHINA, its best if you don’t feed your pet a raw diet treats from CHINA.
• If you choose to feed raw pet food that crap — Oops! — I mean — treats from CHINA to your pet — here are some tips to prevent infection — you’re crazy.

No matter what type of pet food treat you feed your pet, for God’s sake don’t feed it anything, and I mean anything, from CHINA! You should always follow these safe handling instructions.

This is the actual FDA fact sheet (below) from which this spoof (above) was based on: Avoid the Dangers of Raw Pet Food

SOURCE:

• Get the Facts! Raw Pet Food Diets can be Dangerous to You and Your Pet
• Avoid the Dangers of Raw Pet Food